"There Is Always The First Time"
By Randy Gilbert
This is the second article in an exciting 3-part series answering the question, "How do we overcome our fears?"
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world." Therefore, I want to teach you how to rid yourself of those bad fears that hold you back from success and abundance.
We learned in the first article, that in order to proactively rid yourself of your fears, you need to remove the "three ignorances" that cause your fears.
The first ignorance to overcome is "not knowing enough about the thing you fear." We naturally fear the unknown. However, instead of letting the unknown paralyze us, we can use it to direct our learning. Our proactive mantra is, "You can learn anything you need to know to remove any fear."
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Overcoming The Second Ignorance
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The second ignorance to overcome is "not knowing how to control the thing you fear." Emerson said, "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." Fear is removed by doing the thing you fear because you will learn how to be in control.
When you hear yourself saying, "But I've never done that before," your proactive response should be, "There is always the first time." Our lives are filled with "first time" events. They are necessary and good.
The following are some proactive guidelines to help you take your "first steps" in the right way so you will be bound for success.
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The First Step Gives You Courage
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You probably weren't old enough to remember your first wobbly step as a toddler, but you might recall your first day of school and that frightening school bus ride. Or, how about going to a wilderness summer camp, leaving your parents for a whole week? If you're like me, the second time was much easier because I felt in control.
There is an old Chinese proverb that says, "The journey of a 1000 leagues starts with a single step." I've discovered that although the first step is a small distance, it is that single step that has accomplished the most, because by taking the first step I have made a choice.
Making a choice narrows your thinking and it concentrates your courage. It's like a magnifying glass concentrating the sun's rays so that it can burn through paper. Your new-found courage will give you the power to control the thing you fear. You become the master as you learn control.
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Accept That The First Time Will Not Be Perfect
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Dan Kennedy, a business and marketing guru, says, "Nothing is worth doing, if it is not worth doing badly at first." How can you do something well if you don't give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes?
Did you get on a bicycle and ride it perfectly the first time? I didn't either. My parents helped me by creating a safe environment on level ground. I also started with training wheels. I remember being afraid at first, and there were some scrapes and bruises, but mostly I recall my elation of accomplishment. I quickly gained proficiency and the bicycle became my primary mode of transport and pleasure for many years.
Create for yourself a safe learning environment. If you are learning public speaking, don't start with a 500-person audience. Start out with small audiences that will give you positive feedback. Join Toastmasters or a similar group that will help guide you.
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Practice The First Time In Your Mind
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Our minds are the center of creativity. Napoleon Hill said, "What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." I firmly believe that Hill's statement includes doing the thing you fear too.
If you fear starting a business, then practice doing it for the first time successfully in your mind. If you are learning sales, then observe other successful sales reps and put yourself in their shoes. Your subconscious mind won't know the difference and it will give you positive feedback.
When you apply these proactive guidelines, you become a master of fear instead of a victim of fear. Proactively look into the future and plan your "first times" with a positive attitude. Take the first step in doing the thing you fear and you will receive the courage you need to continue, and soon your fear will vanish.
Then when you set out to tackle the next fear, just remember, "There is always the first time," and go to it.
In the next article of this series we will learn about the third ignorance to overcome, which is "not knowing what motivates you to rid yourself of your fears." You will learn that every achievement starts with some type of motivation, including overcoming your fears. Therefore you will want to read "Motivate Yourself To Run Toward Your Fears."
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About the Author - Randy Gilbert is the author of SUCCESS BOUND, from which portions of this article are extracted. Randy is highly regarded as an authority on Proactive Thinking, which is why he goes by the name "Dr. Proactive." You can contact him at Randy@DrProactive.com. To read summaries of each chapter, see the reviews of other authors and leaders, or to buy his new book go to http://snurl.com/rgilbert.
Copyright 2001 by Randy Gilbert. Permission is granted to copy, reprint, or host this article on a website, so long as the entire article is used and the author's name and contact information remain unchanged, and "Used by permission" is denoted.
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